found?

I’m wrestling, 
struggling, 
fighting 
with something much greater than myself. 
much greater than a text book could describe.   
much greater than anyone can put words to.  

i wonder if anyone really, truly wants to break into anyone else's brokenness.
i doubt it.
not in the way Jesus broken in.
what are we afraid of?

i wish i could speak in more poetic, artsy form.
i wish i could create beauty, originality from vomited vernacular.

secrets plague my weary 
soul.
it feels like a vacant
rotting
hole.
lost.
i wonder if i even want to be found anymore